Friday, August 05, 2005

Change, Continued.

For the past year or so, I've been gathering my spare change. I'm not really sure why I started doing it. Perhaps it had something to do with an Oprah Winfrey episode on money management, or it was just a return to the hoarding days of my youth when I saved every cent for that chance trip to the store, where I would blow it all on candy and Ms. Pac Man.
Or, just maybe there was another reason.
Whenever I would look at the growing cache of coins, I would say to myself, "I'll just take it to one of those machines in the grocery store." You know the ones where you pour your nickels, dimes, quarters, buttons and lint in and it counts everything for you, giving you bills in return.
Something kept me from it. Partially, I'm sure it had to do with another holdover from my childhood-- Abject Humiliation. The thought of standing in the front of Harris Teeter while that crazy machine makes the most obnoxious racket as I stood by, pretending that I had neither poured the fifty pounds of change in there nor had I just been scrounging through my seat cushions an floorboards moments earlier looking for more-- was not exactly something I was eagerly anticipating.
Why would a grown person need this many quarters?
After college, it becomes extremely uncool to have an excess, even if they do have all the states on them.
I figure I had about $60.00 worth when I arrived here in DC.

One night while lying on the floor, contemplating the bigger things (my furniture is all in storage and the bed I had ordered still hadn't arrived), my thoughts turned to the nagging desire recently placed in my heart to be and do more for others. I felt a lot like one of those beans we all planted in the styrofoam cups as children. I could tell that something was about to break through and take root. It was very exciting, but I had no clue what form this new thing would take when fully grown. I just knew it was going to be something not from me but through me.
I knew I was going to be different. I knew I was going to grow.
Suddenly, it all came together. Clarity.
I knew the new thing that was going to happen was going to come through the change I had been collecting.

I just didn't know exactly how.....

I had my suspicions, but, as it turns out, I was way off on what actually happened.

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